September 2, 2010 § Leave a comment

Last night I had a deep-tissue massage booked by my favorite masseuse ever, but she forgot and never showed up.  I was utterly disappointed, but instead, I was able to meet some friends at a new classy restaurant downtown St. Paul called Faces.  I’m not sure how they came up with the name; it seems like an odd choice for a restaurant name to me.  I ordered the California salad, which turned out to be chock full of cabbage.  The farmers must have had a surplus of cabbage this week.  I paired my crunchy, healthy salad with Hob Nob Pinot Noir.  Quite tasty.  But most of all, I was really glad to be back with my girlfriends.  Part of me believed I would be moving to Georgia, and I think, subconsciously, I was pulling away from my friends.  Well, my dear St. Paul/Minneapolis friends, I am back and I’m glad to see all your faces at Faces.

Tonight our running group ran almost nine miles.  We ran at a good clip, and when it was done, I felt like I could have gone on running for miles.  I like that nine miles seems short to me, and I suppose it better because I’ve got 26.2 to run in a month.

Here’s a question: Why do you do what you do?  A pastor once asked that question of his congregation while I attended his church one Sunday.  I have to ask myself this question over and over, because I am prone to making decisions based on what other people want me to do (or not do), or what I think they want me to do.  I visit the Literary Loft website every day, but I don’t sign up for Ian’s novel writing class.  I feel like I should.  I don’t want to let Ian, or my writer friends, down.  If I took the class, I probably would get something out of it, but I don’t really want to be in it this fall.  I still want to write and work on my book, but I kind of just want to take a break.  If I took the class, I know I would be signing up for someone else and not because I really wanted to be there.  I need to learn to make decisions for myself.

Even the guys I’ve dated.  Guys my friends (and family) have told me not to date, or guys my friends (and family) have told me I ought to date.  I’m in a place now, where I really need to ask myself, “What do I want?”  Not in a self-centered sort of way, but I’m the only person who can live my life and I need to figure out what I really want.  Maybe this is common sense for you all, but it is stinkin’ hard for me.

Welp, I do know what I want right now.  I want a dish of mango sorbet and a mug of hot RELAX tea.  So, good night.

I just realized this is not a very interesting post.  Sorry.  Next time will be better.  I promise.


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